1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,021 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 3 00:03:16,781 --> 00:03:20,084 The only reason I'm here is because I 4 00:03:20,218 --> 00:03:22,485 have contractual obligations. 5 00:03:23,654 --> 00:03:25,488 You called me, Joseph. 6 00:03:25,823 --> 00:03:28,558 You picked up the phone and you said, 7 00:03:28,693 --> 00:03:31,028 "Save me. This time I mean it." 8 00:03:31,896 --> 00:03:33,463 And what did I say to you. 9 00:03:33,597 --> 00:03:35,266 "I dare you." 10 00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:40,238 So what stopped you? 11 00:03:41,172 --> 00:03:43,573 Well, the drinking's going well, I see. 12 00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:44,608 I'm cutting back. 13 00:03:44,742 --> 00:03:48,012 Yeah, so am I. Uh, boy! 14 00:03:53,651 --> 00:03:56,553 You have a contract that pays actual money. 15 00:03:56,954 --> 00:04:00,091 You are going to God knows where. 16 00:04:00,224 --> 00:04:01,524 Michigan. 17 00:04:01,659 --> 00:04:03,261 Wherever that is. 18 00:04:03,393 --> 00:04:05,730 You will be adored, you'll be feted. 19 00:04:05,863 --> 00:04:09,466 Who knows, you may even fall in love with some farm 20 00:04:09,599 --> 00:04:10,768 boy and spend the rest of your 21 00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,435 life writing children's books, hmm? 22 00:04:12,569 --> 00:04:13,536 I hate children. 23 00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:15,239 Well, it's not a prerequisite. 24 00:04:18,276 --> 00:04:19,911 By the way, have you seen what's 25 00:04:20,044 --> 00:04:21,846 passing for television these days? 26 00:04:21,979 --> 00:04:23,347 I don't believe in television. 27 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,182 Who said you have to believe in it? 28 00:04:25,816 --> 00:04:28,418 You don't want to do TV, fix screenplays. 29 00:04:28,551 --> 00:04:29,452 No. 30 00:04:29,586 --> 00:04:30,453 Uncredited. 31 00:04:30,587 --> 00:04:31,923 Movies are bupkis. 32 00:04:33,824 --> 00:04:34,659 I don't even know what that means. 33 00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:37,862 I'm a playwright, Helen. I'm a playwright. 34 00:04:40,831 --> 00:04:42,066 You're a dinosaur. 35 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,902 And looked what happened to them. 36 00:04:46,137 --> 00:04:47,805 Little faster next time. 37 00:04:49,340 --> 00:04:51,375 I'm afraid to ask, was there a 38 00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:54,779 particular reason why you didn't send me your play? 39 00:04:55,478 --> 00:04:57,281 It's not readable. 40 00:04:59,283 --> 00:05:00,418 Joseph. 41 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,518 It's not. 42 00:05:02,053 --> 00:05:05,522 Please, and tell me there's a play, 43 00:05:05,656 --> 00:05:07,425 because I've already spent the commission. 44 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:08,826 There's a play. 45 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,429 Because the last time you told me what you 46 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,462 had wasn't readable- 47 00:05:12,595 --> 00:05:13,965 There's a play. 48 00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:23,808 You know, someday, I'm gonna look down at my phone and 49 00:05:23,941 --> 00:05:27,712 it's going to say, "Joseph Harris is dead." 50 00:05:30,881 --> 00:05:35,753 And I'm gonna cry, probably a lot. Not for what 51 00:05:35,886 --> 00:05:39,790 you were, for what you could have been. 52 00:05:42,393 --> 00:05:45,863 I have a deathly fear of flying. 53 00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:34,071 Ah. 54 00:07:49,086 --> 00:07:51,088 Come on, let's go. 55 00:08:03,467 --> 00:08:05,336 Ah! 56 00:08:24,488 --> 00:08:25,556 Uh hi, hello. 57 00:08:26,824 --> 00:08:27,925 Uh, I'm Kenneth Waters, I'm the guy who's supposed to be here to 58 00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:29,026 pick you up 45 minutes ago. 59 00:08:30,327 --> 00:08:31,896 Uh sir, if I may, it's because of you that I've decided to live 60 00:08:32,997 --> 00:08:34,732 my... uh, commit to... commit my life to the theatre. 61 00:08:37,268 --> 00:08:38,869 Oh, sorry! 62 00:08:42,306 --> 00:08:43,741 Oh God! 63 00:08:43,874 --> 00:08:45,176 I wrote a couple of short plays 64 00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:47,178 before, but they're only like 10 or 15 minutes long. 65 00:08:48,245 --> 00:08:50,047 I got 1st place in like my high school's play jam. 66 00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,750 Uh, there were only two entries, but I still won. 67 00:08:52,883 --> 00:08:54,385 Don't talk. Don't talk, don't talk. 68 00:08:54,518 --> 00:08:56,520 Oh no, if you open your mouth, you'll be stupid, just shut up. 69 00:08:56,655 --> 00:08:58,389 Just let him talk, let him... just I'll take him... 70 00:08:58,522 --> 00:09:00,157 take him to the hotel and it'll be fine. 71 00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:03,194 You'll ride in the car with Joseph Harris. 72 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:21,946 Oh! Oh there! There's the station. 73 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,985 And here we go. 74 00:09:28,118 --> 00:09:31,355 Here we go! Here we go! 75 00:09:37,061 --> 00:09:38,596 What happened to the 565? 76 00:09:38,729 --> 00:09:40,197 Lower your voice. 77 00:09:40,764 --> 00:09:42,333 What happened to the 565? 78 00:09:42,466 --> 00:09:43,367 Lower. 79 00:09:55,646 --> 00:09:56,647 What happened to the 565? 80 00:09:56,780 --> 00:09:57,648 Come and gone. 81 00:09:57,781 --> 00:09:59,149 No. Yes. 82 00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:00,484 Was it on time? 83 00:10:00,618 --> 00:10:01,418 1:30. 84 00:10:01,552 --> 00:10:02,553 Huh, I'm a dead man. 85 00:10:02,687 --> 00:10:03,854 Nice knowin' ya. 86 00:10:03,988 --> 00:10:05,789 Uh, did anyone get off? An older man? 87 00:10:05,923 --> 00:10:07,057 Very distinguished looking? 88 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,359 Wait, wait, wait, I have a picture. 89 00:10:08,492 --> 00:10:10,060 First drop off we've had in months. 90 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:11,629 The 565 never stops, 91 00:10:11,762 --> 00:10:13,364 nor does the 283 or the 112. 92 00:10:13,497 --> 00:10:17,801 The only train that stops is the 419, every mornin' at 5:45. 93 00:10:17,935 --> 00:10:19,303 Here. 94 00:10:19,436 --> 00:10:20,204 That's him. 95 00:10:20,337 --> 00:10:21,505 Did he say where he was going? 96 00:10:21,639 --> 00:10:22,539 To sleep. 97 00:10:22,674 --> 00:10:23,841 Where? The hotel? 98 00:10:56,340 --> 00:10:58,208 Hi, my name is Kenneth Waters. 99 00:10:58,342 --> 00:10:59,910 I'm with the Lima Theater Company. 100 00:11:00,044 --> 00:11:01,445 I'm here to take you to your hotel. 101 00:11:02,046 --> 00:11:03,580 It's very nice. 102 00:11:03,715 --> 00:11:05,849 It's right downtown, within walking distance of the theatre. 103 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:09,953 This feels like one of those 104 00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:12,523 places you go only if you have to. 105 00:11:15,426 --> 00:11:17,528 Does it feel that way to you, Walter? 106 00:11:17,662 --> 00:11:22,032 Uh, Kenneth. No, not at all. In fact, I grew up here. 107 00:11:22,767 --> 00:11:24,468 Escape. 108 00:11:25,002 --> 00:11:26,771 As soon as we get you to your hotel, 109 00:11:26,904 --> 00:11:28,272 I'll make a run for it, I promise. 110 00:11:28,405 --> 00:11:31,408 Where's the person who was supposed to pick me up? 111 00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:32,609 He was here. 112 00:11:32,744 --> 00:11:34,178 Uh well, I just said "he". 113 00:11:34,311 --> 00:11:36,246 I... I... I... I... I meant "me". 114 00:11:36,815 --> 00:11:38,215 You were here. 115 00:11:38,683 --> 00:11:40,685 Actually, technically... 116 00:11:40,819 --> 00:11:44,621 Actually, technically, oh okay... 117 00:11:44,756 --> 00:11:49,828 you weren't, because when I got off the train, I stood on the 118 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:54,465 platform with my suitcase, 119 00:11:54,598 --> 00:11:56,668 waiting for someone to... 120 00:11:56,801 --> 00:12:01,538 waiting for someone to pick me up, at the very least pick up my 121 00:12:01,673 --> 00:12:03,607 s... s-suitcase. 122 00:12:03,742 --> 00:12:08,512 And after waiting for what seemed like a very long 123 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:13,350 time, no one actually technically came, at which point 124 00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:18,355 I actually technically made my way in here, 125 00:12:18,489 --> 00:12:19,356 dragging my now 126 00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:22,926 very heavy suitcase, sat down, 127 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:27,231 collapsing in this very spot and 128 00:12:27,364 --> 00:12:32,069 yet still, no one, no one 129 00:12:32,202 --> 00:12:35,539 from the Lima Bean Repertory... 130 00:12:35,673 --> 00:12:36,607 Just Lima. 131 00:12:37,776 --> 00:12:41,078 ...Company came forward to collect me or my suitcase at 132 00:12:41,211 --> 00:12:46,250 which point I fell asleep on 133 00:12:46,950 --> 00:12:49,553 this sad excuse for a seating 134 00:12:49,687 --> 00:12:53,624 device, thoroughly wrenching my back. 135 00:12:53,758 --> 00:12:54,692 Here, let me get that for you. 136 00:12:54,826 --> 00:12:56,026 No! 137 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,027 I'm sorry, I was just... 138 00:12:57,161 --> 00:13:00,164 Don't apologize! 139 00:13:18,348 --> 00:13:20,284 Oh. 140 00:13:51,850 --> 00:13:54,551 You know any good jokes? 141 00:13:54,686 --> 00:13:56,153 Jokes? 142 00:13:56,286 --> 00:13:57,755 I need a laugh. 143 00:13:57,889 --> 00:13:59,389 You're not serious. 144 00:13:59,523 --> 00:14:01,358 I'm a playwright, I'm eternally serious. 145 00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:04,261 I'm also important. Which is even worse. 146 00:14:04,929 --> 00:14:06,196 Uh no, no, I don't. 147 00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:07,397 Besides even if I did, I'm afraid I'm not 148 00:14:07,531 --> 00:14:08,999 very good at telling them. 149 00:14:09,132 --> 00:14:10,969 Hardly something to fear, go ask the masses. 150 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,169 The who? 151 00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:15,038 The ones who don't go to the theatre anymore, because they're 152 00:14:15,172 --> 00:14:17,976 too busy binge watching the Kardashians. 153 00:14:18,710 --> 00:14:21,713 O'Neill was so lucky to have written when he did. 154 00:14:22,479 --> 00:14:24,381 Look at him in there, huh. 155 00:14:24,916 --> 00:14:27,752 Trapped inside his little box. 156 00:14:27,886 --> 00:14:29,721 Of your own making, I might add! 157 00:14:29,854 --> 00:14:31,890 Yeah, it's okay. It's okay, we're leaving. 158 00:14:32,022 --> 00:14:33,658 Well, not until I hear a joke! 159 00:14:35,092 --> 00:14:36,694 I'm a... I'm a very good laugher. 160 00:14:36,828 --> 00:14:40,063 Producers count me into their Opening Nights and 161 00:14:40,197 --> 00:14:42,032 seat me right behind the critics. 162 00:14:42,165 --> 00:14:46,303 It never helps, but long as there's food, what do I care? 163 00:14:46,436 --> 00:14:48,873 Well, you know who knows a lot of jokes? 164 00:14:49,007 --> 00:14:49,874 Hmm? 165 00:14:50,008 --> 00:14:50,975 Simon. 166 00:14:51,108 --> 00:14:52,476 Neil? 167 00:14:52,609 --> 00:14:53,711 John. 168 00:14:53,845 --> 00:14:56,380 Simon John. Artistic Director of the Lima... 169 00:14:56,513 --> 00:14:57,749 Oh, oh, oh, yes, yes! 170 00:14:57,882 --> 00:15:00,652 Yes! Mr. John and I spoke over the phone. 171 00:15:00,785 --> 00:15:03,186 I'm not sure you're aware, but the man was born 172 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,956 without a sense of humor which I didn't... 173 00:15:05,088 --> 00:15:09,359 I didn't think was genetically possible until he 174 00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:11,829 spent an hour and a half telling me about himself. 175 00:15:11,963 --> 00:15:13,297 He can be very funny. 176 00:15:13,430 --> 00:15:16,668 He's a bore. Why did the chicken cross the road? 177 00:15:16,801 --> 00:15:18,068 What? 178 00:15:18,201 --> 00:15:20,772 No, why. 179 00:15:20,905 --> 00:15:23,507 I say, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" 180 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:24,341 You say... 181 00:15:24,474 --> 00:15:25,409 To get to the other side. 182 00:15:25,542 --> 00:15:26,610 That's the punch line. 183 00:15:26,744 --> 00:15:27,644 I know. 184 00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:29,379 Well, you said you didn't know any jokes. 185 00:15:30,014 --> 00:15:30,547 Everybody knows that one. 186 00:15:31,214 --> 00:15:32,649 Ah, ah, you prove my point! 187 00:15:33,450 --> 00:15:36,721 Granted, you cut directly to the pay off, but 188 00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:39,323 then, that's what's wrong with your generation, isn't it? 189 00:15:39,456 --> 00:15:41,325 It's all about the now, the being there, 190 00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:42,526 not the getting there. 191 00:15:42,660 --> 00:15:44,628 You have no use for the journey. 192 00:15:45,730 --> 00:15:47,065 I have a joke. 193 00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,298 Praise Jesus. 194 00:15:48,432 --> 00:15:50,068 It's a theatre joke. 195 00:15:51,002 --> 00:15:53,705 Are you implying that the theatre is a joke? 196 00:15:53,838 --> 00:15:56,640 No, of course not. That's the last thing I would do. 197 00:15:56,774 --> 00:15:59,610 Well, it is. Trust me, I've spent my life in it. 198 00:16:00,310 --> 00:16:01,645 I don't believe that for a second. 199 00:16:02,412 --> 00:16:05,349 Well, the sooner you do, the easier it'll be to 200 00:16:05,482 --> 00:16:07,284 read your own reviews. 201 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,553 Is it funny? 202 00:16:09,687 --> 00:16:11,288 This joke about the theatre? 203 00:16:12,589 --> 00:16:14,291 Because if it's not, I'm going to personally see to it that you 204 00:16:14,424 --> 00:16:16,226 never work in this business again. 205 00:16:19,429 --> 00:16:20,564 That was a joke. 206 00:16:20,698 --> 00:16:22,599 Oh! 207 00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:28,205 Tell me your joke. 208 00:16:28,338 --> 00:16:29,774 Right, okay. 209 00:16:31,042 --> 00:16:33,410 Yes. There was this actor, uh an old character actor and he was 210 00:16:33,543 --> 00:16:35,479 playing the doctor in The Miracle Worker. 211 00:16:35,612 --> 00:16:37,815 You know, the famous play about Helen Keller? 212 00:16:37,949 --> 00:16:39,583 Define famous. 213 00:16:39,717 --> 00:16:41,184 What? 214 00:16:41,318 --> 00:16:43,655 What is fame? 215 00:16:44,621 --> 00:16:46,658 It's well known, something well known. 216 00:16:47,324 --> 00:16:49,727 I did not know that. 217 00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:53,263 Anyway, this actor was also a drunk and 218 00:16:53,397 --> 00:16:54,666 his career had not been going well. 219 00:16:54,799 --> 00:16:56,500 And in the first scene of the play, 220 00:16:56,633 --> 00:16:57,969 he's to come on stage and inform Mr. and Mrs. Keller that 221 00:16:58,102 --> 00:16:59,771 their daughter is, you know, the way she is. 222 00:16:59,904 --> 00:17:01,706 So before the curtain goes up, this actor sits 223 00:17:01,839 --> 00:17:03,206 in front of his dressing room mirror, 224 00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:05,175 drinking, staring at himself. 225 00:17:05,308 --> 00:17:06,711 The curtain goes up, 226 00:17:07,979 --> 00:17:09,413 this actor steps on stage and he says, "Mr. and Mrs. Keller, I'm 227 00:17:09,546 --> 00:17:10,915 sorry to tell you, but your daughter is dead." 228 00:17:11,049 --> 00:17:12,784 And he turns and walks off, out of the 229 00:17:12,917 --> 00:17:15,185 theatre, never to set foot on the stage again. 230 00:17:23,027 --> 00:17:25,930 Why? 231 00:17:28,733 --> 00:17:29,599 What? 232 00:17:29,734 --> 00:17:30,735 No. 233 00:17:30,868 --> 00:17:32,904 Why? 234 00:17:33,037 --> 00:17:34,471 That's the joke. 235 00:17:35,073 --> 00:17:36,674 What if I told you that the 236 00:17:36,808 --> 00:17:39,443 actor's name was Kensington Malloy. 237 00:17:40,243 --> 00:17:45,116 And the theatre was the Morosco in 1973. 238 00:17:45,817 --> 00:17:49,252 And that I not only saw that production, 239 00:17:49,386 --> 00:17:53,725 I was in the audience the very night that Mr. Malloy walked 240 00:17:53,858 --> 00:17:58,930 onto a Broadway stage and ended both the play and his career? 241 00:17:59,063 --> 00:18:00,397 I'm sorry. 242 00:18:00,530 --> 00:18:03,901 Don't apologize! An artist never apologizes! 243 00:18:04,035 --> 00:18:05,069 I'm sorry. 244 00:18:05,203 --> 00:18:06,104 Not sorry! 245 00:18:06,269 --> 00:18:07,304 Not sorry! 246 00:18:07,437 --> 00:18:08,605 Not sorry! 247 00:18:08,740 --> 00:18:09,674 Not sorry! 248 00:18:10,775 --> 00:18:13,745 For the record, that was not a joke, but an anecdote. 249 00:18:13,878 --> 00:18:15,913 Hardly comedic. 250 00:18:16,047 --> 00:18:19,416 Tragic, to be sure, in the classical sense. 251 00:18:19,549 --> 00:18:21,085 You're aware of the Greeks? 252 00:18:21,219 --> 00:18:22,285 Yes, of course. 253 00:18:22,419 --> 00:18:24,789 Name three. 254 00:18:26,256 --> 00:18:27,557 What? 255 00:18:27,692 --> 00:18:30,393 Name three Greek playwrights whose influence on 256 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,930 the world of drama is still felt today. 257 00:18:33,064 --> 00:18:35,733 Euripides, Sophocles, and Aristophanes. 258 00:18:35,867 --> 00:18:38,468 Who said, "Anything awful makes me laugh"? 259 00:18:38,602 --> 00:18:40,138 Aristophanes? 260 00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:44,008 Charles Lamb. You know who Charles Lamb is? 261 00:18:44,142 --> 00:18:45,243 Was he Greek? 262 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:46,811 Oh God. 263 00:18:50,848 --> 00:18:54,484 An obscure English author who 264 00:18:54,618 --> 00:18:56,754 once misbehaved at a funeral, 265 00:18:56,888 --> 00:19:00,725 laughing during the eulogy or something. 266 00:19:04,262 --> 00:19:06,731 He wrote a letter in the form of 267 00:19:06,864 --> 00:19:09,834 an apology to the appropriately 268 00:19:09,967 --> 00:19:13,671 appalled widow, stated with great importance, 269 00:19:15,139 --> 00:19:17,708 "Anything awful makes me laugh." 270 00:19:24,381 --> 00:19:28,686 Actually technically, you know what I would really like? 271 00:19:28,820 --> 00:19:30,387 Yeah, anything. You name it. 272 00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:33,858 Oh, you're over here now. 273 00:19:34,725 --> 00:19:36,227 A drink. 274 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:41,032 No. I mean, I can't. 275 00:19:41,631 --> 00:19:44,467 Have I mentioned I have won the Pulitzer? 276 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:45,736 For Up a Lonely River. 277 00:19:45,870 --> 00:19:47,604 It's my favorite play in the whole world. 278 00:19:47,738 --> 00:19:49,506 I cannot even begin to tell you how much that play means to me. 279 00:19:49,639 --> 00:19:52,210 As much as a drink would mean to me? 280 00:19:52,877 --> 00:19:55,012 Mr. Harris, Simon made it very clear, under no 281 00:19:55,146 --> 00:19:57,581 circumstances was I to get you liquor of any kind. 282 00:19:57,715 --> 00:20:00,051 My reputation arrived before I did. 283 00:20:00,184 --> 00:20:00,818 Yeah, I'm sorry. 284 00:20:00,952 --> 00:20:01,819 Not. 285 00:20:01,953 --> 00:20:02,887 Not sorry. 286 00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:04,222 What's your name again? 287 00:20:04,354 --> 00:20:05,488 Kenneth Waters. 288 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,892 Do you drink, Mr. Waters? 289 00:20:08,025 --> 00:20:09,093 No. 290 00:20:09,227 --> 00:20:10,560 Would you like to start? 291 00:20:10,695 --> 00:20:12,462 I'm sure the hotel has a mini-bar. 292 00:20:13,097 --> 00:20:14,397 Yes, I'm sure it does. 293 00:20:14,966 --> 00:20:19,502 Who told you about my uh, little problem? 294 00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,438 I can't tell you that. 295 00:20:21,571 --> 00:20:22,974 The Pulitzer. 296 00:20:23,741 --> 00:20:26,344 Your agent. She told Simon to 297 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,079 "treat him like the alcoholic he is". 298 00:20:28,212 --> 00:20:29,479 Former agent. 299 00:20:29,613 --> 00:20:31,048 Oh, I didn't know. 300 00:20:31,182 --> 00:20:34,051 Neither does she. Tell me something, did she use the 301 00:20:34,185 --> 00:20:36,386 line about how I "can't possibly 302 00:20:36,519 --> 00:20:38,155 write from the bottom of a bottle"? 303 00:20:38,756 --> 00:20:40,358 I don't know what she said. 304 00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:41,391 Pulitzer. 305 00:20:41,524 --> 00:20:42,392 Yeah, word for word. 306 00:20:42,525 --> 00:20:43,794 Can we go now? 307 00:20:44,061 --> 00:20:45,796 She stole that line from me, I'll have you know. 308 00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:48,366 This from a wench who can drink me under any table in New York. 309 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:49,466 I'll pull the car up. 310 00:20:49,599 --> 00:20:51,135 Oh God, how much? 311 00:20:51,269 --> 00:20:52,770 How much what? 312 00:20:52,904 --> 00:20:55,072 Over and above whatever it is, you can round up of course. 313 00:20:55,206 --> 00:20:56,439 Sir. 314 00:20:56,908 --> 00:20:58,608 Preferably, gin, though at this point I'll take anything this 315 00:20:58,743 --> 00:20:59,844 side of mouthwash. 316 00:20:59,977 --> 00:21:01,045 I told you. I... 317 00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:02,813 20 bucks, 20 bucks for one little drink. 318 00:21:02,947 --> 00:21:04,348 I'm sure once we get to the hotel... 319 00:21:04,481 --> 00:21:06,684 Get me a goddamn drink! 320 00:21:37,214 --> 00:21:39,016 Go. 321 00:21:39,150 --> 00:21:40,918 What? 322 00:21:41,052 --> 00:21:42,987 You may go. 323 00:21:45,089 --> 00:21:46,223 Go where? 324 00:21:46,657 --> 00:21:49,160 Wherever someone like you goes. 325 00:21:49,293 --> 00:21:50,328 I'm not going without you. 326 00:21:50,460 --> 00:21:51,696 Yes, you are. 327 00:21:52,797 --> 00:21:53,630 You're gonna walk out that door, you're gonna get 328 00:21:54,231 --> 00:21:55,733 in your car, drive away. 329 00:21:56,968 --> 00:21:59,403 Before you do, however, you are going to book me on the next 330 00:21:59,569 --> 00:22:00,738 train back to New York. 331 00:22:00,871 --> 00:22:02,505 Well, Mr. Harris, you can't do that. 332 00:22:02,639 --> 00:22:04,275 I can and I will. 333 00:22:04,408 --> 00:22:05,309 You have rehearsal. 334 00:22:06,177 --> 00:22:07,610 No, no, no, no, you have rehearsal. 335 00:22:07,745 --> 00:22:09,847 I am going back to New York. 336 00:22:09,981 --> 00:22:11,349 Sir, I'm just doing what I'm told. 337 00:22:11,481 --> 00:22:12,350 Not yet, you're not. 338 00:22:13,384 --> 00:22:13,985 If I don't deliver you to rehearsal first thing 339 00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:14,986 tomorrow morning then... 340 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,221 Oh, oh, now I'm a package, am I? 341 00:22:17,355 --> 00:22:18,621 No, no, no... 342 00:22:18,756 --> 00:22:20,024 I'm just, I'm something to be delivered? 343 00:22:20,157 --> 00:22:21,058 No, no, no, no, no... 344 00:22:21,192 --> 00:22:22,326 Just shipped overnight... 345 00:22:22,460 --> 00:22:23,427 No! 346 00:22:24,527 --> 00:22:25,162 Because I absolutely, positively have to be there? 347 00:22:26,397 --> 00:22:27,431 I'm sure you'll feel differently once you've talked to Simon. 348 00:22:27,564 --> 00:22:28,366 He can't wait to meet you. 349 00:22:28,498 --> 00:22:29,033 Apparently, he can. 350 00:22:30,034 --> 00:22:31,135 Because otherwise, he wouldn't have sent you. 351 00:22:51,856 --> 00:22:54,125 Sir, I'm just an apprentice. 352 00:22:54,658 --> 00:22:56,526 Apprentice to what? 353 00:22:56,660 --> 00:22:58,528 Hmm, I'm sorry? 354 00:22:58,662 --> 00:23:00,530 Stop apologizing! 355 00:23:00,664 --> 00:23:01,832 I'm sorry. 356 00:23:01,966 --> 00:23:02,632 Not! 357 00:23:02,767 --> 00:23:04,201 Not sorry! 358 00:23:06,137 --> 00:23:09,539 Don't tell me you're studying to be an actor. 359 00:23:10,875 --> 00:23:12,109 I don't have the talent. 360 00:23:12,243 --> 00:23:13,778 You don't need talent. 361 00:23:14,311 --> 00:23:17,815 All you need is a deep-seated belief that the whole world's 362 00:23:17,948 --> 00:23:19,817 as excited about you as you are. 363 00:23:20,751 --> 00:23:23,087 I wanna be a playwright. 364 00:23:24,321 --> 00:23:25,588 Someday. 365 00:23:25,723 --> 00:23:26,791 Not yet, not now. 366 00:23:27,892 --> 00:23:28,359 I have so much to learn, but that's why I'm here, 367 00:23:29,427 --> 00:23:30,394 that's why I wanted to be the one to pick you up. 368 00:23:30,528 --> 00:23:31,295 I had to meet you. 369 00:23:32,530 --> 00:23:34,564 To just... just I don't know, to just be around you, I guess to 370 00:23:34,698 --> 00:23:36,267 experience your essence. 371 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:37,334 I have an essence? 372 00:23:37,468 --> 00:23:38,736 No, not... not essence. 373 00:23:38,869 --> 00:23:41,305 No, no, no, I like... like having an essence. 374 00:23:41,439 --> 00:23:43,140 I told Simon, "I don't care what time he gets 375 00:23:43,274 --> 00:23:45,009 in, I want to be the one who gets to pick up the greatest 376 00:23:45,142 --> 00:23:46,677 playwright in the history of the American Theatre. 377 00:23:46,811 --> 00:23:48,312 In the history of theatre, period." 378 00:23:49,579 --> 00:23:51,614 Better than O'Neill, better than Miller, better than William... 379 00:23:51,749 --> 00:23:53,583 Shakespeare? 380 00:23:58,322 --> 00:24:00,157 Yes. 381 00:24:01,125 --> 00:24:02,625 I have so many questions for you, 382 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:03,727 I don't know where to start. 383 00:24:05,763 --> 00:24:09,800 Questions are what make art, art. 384 00:24:09,934 --> 00:24:12,236 Writers on Writing, published in 1986. 385 00:24:13,537 --> 00:24:16,073 Very good. 386 00:24:16,874 --> 00:24:18,909 I've read everything you've ever 387 00:24:19,043 --> 00:24:21,512 written or said, for that matter. 388 00:24:22,146 --> 00:24:25,449 The full lengths, the one acts, the essays, the 389 00:24:25,583 --> 00:24:27,952 monologues, even your Op-Ed pieces in the New York Times. 390 00:24:28,085 --> 00:24:29,720 One of my favorites was The 391 00:24:29,854 --> 00:24:32,123 State of the American Theatre, October, 1998. 392 00:24:32,256 --> 00:24:34,158 You were so eloquent about the need for a 393 00:24:34,291 --> 00:24:36,694 collective voice to speak from our stage and your prediction 394 00:24:36,827 --> 00:24:37,895 that Broadway would succumb to 395 00:24:38,028 --> 00:24:40,664 uh, how did you put it? 396 00:24:40,798 --> 00:24:42,366 Oh, oh, hang on. 397 00:24:46,470 --> 00:24:50,374 Joseph Harris, 1998. 398 00:24:51,709 --> 00:24:54,612 "In our quest to find new voices, 399 00:24:54,745 --> 00:24:56,280 the American Stage will turn its 400 00:24:57,548 --> 00:24:59,617 back on its very own, only to drop the bar and welcome with 401 00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:01,619 open arms anything with an accent, 402 00:25:01,752 --> 00:25:04,021 preferably ones spewing Irish blarney, 403 00:25:04,155 --> 00:25:06,557 Royal pomposity or Cockney slang. 404 00:25:06,690 --> 00:25:08,425 Mark my words..." I love this part, 405 00:25:08,559 --> 00:25:11,629 "To spend one's life writing for the American Theatre is to aim 406 00:25:11,762 --> 00:25:14,965 for a place somewhere between airport paperbacks and the 407 00:25:15,099 --> 00:25:17,301 graffiti located above a dive bar urinal." 408 00:25:17,434 --> 00:25:19,270 Yeah, 409 00:25:20,738 --> 00:25:22,106 I was drunk. 410 00:25:22,239 --> 00:25:24,008 Well, I found it prophetic. 411 00:25:24,675 --> 00:25:26,110 I had just opened a play 412 00:25:27,244 --> 00:25:29,513 that included a 10-minute sequence where one of the 413 00:25:30,281 --> 00:25:35,085 fattest actors you've ever seen dropped his pants and farted 414 00:25:35,219 --> 00:25:37,288 into the face of the audience. 415 00:25:38,889 --> 00:25:42,661 Needless to say, the critics were not kind. 416 00:25:43,727 --> 00:25:48,732 So I wrote to the Times, explaining it was a metaphor for 417 00:25:48,866 --> 00:25:51,969 the slow, poisonous disintegration of 418 00:25:52,102 --> 00:25:53,337 Creative America. 419 00:25:53,470 --> 00:25:57,141 I think they published it out of pity. 420 00:25:57,641 --> 00:26:01,011 Another American playwright screaming from the ledge. 421 00:26:01,545 --> 00:26:04,114 Yeah, but you were right. 422 00:26:04,615 --> 00:26:06,483 Hardly. 423 00:26:06,617 --> 00:26:09,453 Though I must say, if the actor had farted in an 424 00:26:09,587 --> 00:26:12,189 English accent, the play would still be running. 425 00:26:13,190 --> 00:26:15,593 No one writes for the theatre anymore, Mr. Waters. 426 00:26:15,726 --> 00:26:16,594 No, no, no, that's... that's... 427 00:26:16,727 --> 00:26:17,928 No, it's true. 428 00:26:18,829 --> 00:26:21,031 It's all screenplays, and cable deals, 429 00:26:21,165 --> 00:26:23,834 and getting a seat at the table with 430 00:26:23,968 --> 00:26:25,803 a dozen other ex-playwrights. 431 00:26:25,936 --> 00:26:27,471 But you can't really blame them, can you? 432 00:26:27,605 --> 00:26:30,074 I mean the... the theatre won't support you, 433 00:26:30,207 --> 00:26:33,844 you have to follow the herd out to California, 434 00:26:34,578 --> 00:26:38,115 get paid a king's ransom, because you can spell your name. 435 00:26:38,549 --> 00:26:40,551 Yeah, but... but you didn't. 436 00:26:41,085 --> 00:26:43,187 Much to my accountant's dismay. 437 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,690 Active duty military discounts. 438 00:26:45,823 --> 00:26:50,160 All active duty military are entitled to discounts up to 50%. 439 00:26:50,894 --> 00:26:52,263 When others turned their backs, 440 00:26:53,330 --> 00:26:54,231 you nobly clung to your principles, hanging on to 441 00:26:55,065 --> 00:26:55,599 what it means to be a true artist. 442 00:26:56,701 --> 00:26:59,970 Call Expedition today. 443 00:27:00,204 --> 00:27:01,972 As a relaxing alternative to 444 00:27:02,106 --> 00:27:04,275 today's airport body scan, the latest bomb scans 445 00:27:24,094 --> 00:27:26,063 Stowing away is against the law. 446 00:27:26,196 --> 00:27:28,733 Any activity around the train that is illegal 447 00:27:28,866 --> 00:27:31,535 please contact Expedition employees. 448 00:27:31,670 --> 00:27:33,570 Thank you and have a good day. 449 00:27:35,774 --> 00:27:37,709 Hardly noble. 450 00:27:38,342 --> 00:27:41,845 To me, you are. To me, you are the American Theatre. 451 00:27:41,979 --> 00:27:43,213 Strong words, I know. 452 00:27:43,347 --> 00:27:44,248 No, no... 453 00:27:45,482 --> 00:27:46,216 But there is no one and I mean no one with your uncompromising 454 00:27:46,817 --> 00:27:47,284 commitment to your art. 455 00:27:48,018 --> 00:27:49,286 It is because of you that I have 456 00:27:49,420 --> 00:27:51,021 decided to commit my life to the theatre. 457 00:27:51,155 --> 00:27:52,724 It is your art, your craft, your brilliance that has 458 00:27:52,856 --> 00:27:54,358 opened up the creativity... That lies within my very soul. 459 00:27:54,491 --> 00:27:55,526 Here, just shut up! Just shut up. 460 00:27:55,660 --> 00:27:57,094 Just take that. 461 00:27:58,763 --> 00:28:00,064 What? What's this? 462 00:28:00,197 --> 00:28:01,465 It's the advance. 463 00:28:01,999 --> 00:28:04,001 Much as I love being paid to write, 464 00:28:04,134 --> 00:28:06,303 I hate being paid not to even more. 465 00:28:07,137 --> 00:28:08,539 I don't understand. 466 00:28:09,106 --> 00:28:11,308 There is no play. 467 00:28:12,677 --> 00:28:14,545 What? 468 00:28:14,679 --> 00:28:16,447 I haven't written a word. 469 00:28:17,981 --> 00:28:21,786 I'd apologize, but I'm in the arts, so... 470 00:28:21,919 --> 00:28:23,087 Is this some kind of joke? 471 00:28:23,220 --> 00:28:25,122 This is not a joke. 472 00:28:27,558 --> 00:28:29,026 This is not a joke. 473 00:28:29,159 --> 00:28:31,895 I think we've established this is not a joke. 474 00:28:32,329 --> 00:28:33,597 But we have to have a play. 475 00:28:33,732 --> 00:28:34,932 Well, if I don't have one, 476 00:28:35,065 --> 00:28:36,233 there's no way you're going to have one. 477 00:28:36,367 --> 00:28:37,401 But we... we... we commissioned you. 478 00:28:38,535 --> 00:28:39,671 I had a couple ideas, a couple things I thought might 479 00:28:41,004 --> 00:28:44,441 have legs enough to sail past page 20, flourish into something 480 00:28:44,575 --> 00:28:47,746 grand, an... an... an epic drama, perhaps. 481 00:28:47,878 --> 00:28:52,416 A comedy! I'd have settled for a comedy, but in the end, nothing. 482 00:28:52,549 --> 00:28:53,484 Uh, wait. 483 00:28:54,719 --> 00:28:56,721 Though, I did have one idea about a girl and her dog, and 484 00:28:56,855 --> 00:28:58,122 then the dog died and the girl 485 00:28:59,089 --> 00:29:00,023 turned into a transvestite and I thought, 486 00:29:00,725 --> 00:29:01,358 Well, that's hardly original. 487 00:29:01,959 --> 00:29:02,926 Mr. Harris! 488 00:29:03,060 --> 00:29:03,961 Make the dog the transvestite. 489 00:29:04,094 --> 00:29:05,162 You sent us a first draft. 490 00:29:05,929 --> 00:29:07,030 Of what? 491 00:29:07,164 --> 00:29:08,599 Simon told the staff it was brilliant. 492 00:29:08,733 --> 00:29:10,467 The only thing of any brilliance 493 00:29:10,601 --> 00:29:15,038 were Simon's efforts to cover his artistic ass. 494 00:29:16,273 --> 00:29:18,942 I called and told him that what I had wasn't readable. 495 00:29:19,076 --> 00:29:22,012 Little advice, when a playwright calls to say that his play isn't 496 00:29:22,146 --> 00:29:24,281 readable, it's 'cause there's nothing to read. 497 00:29:26,950 --> 00:29:28,051 I'm calling Simon. 498 00:29:28,185 --> 00:29:29,186 Do 'Up a Lonely River'. 499 00:29:29,319 --> 00:29:30,621 We just did it two months ago! 500 00:29:30,755 --> 00:29:31,588 Do it again. 501 00:29:31,723 --> 00:29:32,990 We can't do it again! 502 00:29:33,123 --> 00:29:34,558 Oh, sure you can. Tell 'em it's a rerun. 503 00:29:34,692 --> 00:29:36,226 You don't understand, we've announced it to the world! 504 00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,061 Oh, good Lord, I hope you have enough seats. 505 00:29:38,195 --> 00:29:39,563 Mr. Harris, this is a very big deal for us. 506 00:29:39,697 --> 00:29:41,165 For the first time in our history, 507 00:29:41,298 --> 00:29:42,801 Variety is sending their Chicago critic. 508 00:29:42,933 --> 00:29:45,502 Sir, could you please tell me the estimated time of 509 00:29:45,636 --> 00:29:47,571 departure for the next train to New York? 510 00:29:47,705 --> 00:29:48,605 5:45. 511 00:29:48,740 --> 00:29:49,674 Where do I transfer? 512 00:29:50,875 --> 00:29:52,509 Local stops to Toledo. Transfer to the Express from there. 513 00:29:52,643 --> 00:29:53,243 I'll take it. 514 00:29:53,377 --> 00:29:54,244 No, he doesn't want it! 515 00:29:54,378 --> 00:29:55,312 - Round trip? - No! 516 00:29:55,446 --> 00:29:56,513 - God, no. - Window or aisle? 517 00:29:56,647 --> 00:29:57,548 Neither! Window. 518 00:29:58,649 --> 00:29:59,651 Mr. Harris, please don't do this, I'm begging you. 519 00:29:59,784 --> 00:30:00,250 Will you just relax. 520 00:30:01,218 --> 00:30:02,419 Welcome to the exciting world of train travel. 521 00:30:02,553 --> 00:30:03,954 Not everything in life is your fault. 522 00:30:04,087 --> 00:30:04,889 By purchasing a round trip ticket... 523 00:30:05,022 --> 00:30:05,956 Yes, yes, yes, okay. 524 00:30:06,089 --> 00:30:07,224 No, not this shit, trust me. 525 00:30:07,357 --> 00:30:08,025 Seniors, if you are young at heart... 526 00:30:08,158 --> 00:30:08,860 Okay, somehow... 527 00:30:08,992 --> 00:30:09,928 I'll take it. 528 00:30:10,060 --> 00:30:11,328 get 5% off the regular fare. 529 00:30:11,462 --> 00:30:12,429 Phew, oh my God, Simon's gonna kill me. 530 00:30:12,563 --> 00:30:13,698 Students, take advantage of... 531 00:30:13,832 --> 00:30:14,598 Do I look like a student to you? 532 00:30:14,732 --> 00:30:15,667 Please, hey, hey! 533 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,234 price of an unrestricted ticket. 534 00:30:17,367 --> 00:30:17,902 Mr. Harris, whatever I did or didn't do, I'm sorry. 535 00:30:18,035 --> 00:30:18,502 Not. 536 00:30:19,671 --> 00:30:20,270 I'm whatever I have to be to keep you from doing this! 537 00:30:21,038 --> 00:30:21,873 My stay here is over. Finished. 538 00:30:22,005 --> 00:30:23,140 All military persons... 539 00:30:23,273 --> 00:30:24,274 Listen, just talk to Simon, okay? 540 00:30:24,408 --> 00:30:25,375 -continental United States. 541 00:30:25,509 --> 00:30:26,310 Military? 542 00:30:26,443 --> 00:30:27,511 Fare may be higher during... 543 00:30:27,644 --> 00:30:29,379 - What's the damage? - 152 bucks. 544 00:30:30,013 --> 00:30:31,315 Give me 152 bucks. 545 00:30:31,448 --> 00:30:32,583 Do I look rich to you? 546 00:30:32,717 --> 00:30:33,651 Yes. 547 00:30:33,785 --> 00:30:34,786 You want the ticket or not? 548 00:30:34,919 --> 00:30:36,253 No! He's not going anywhere! 549 00:30:36,386 --> 00:30:37,789 I thought you said you was takin' him somewhere. 550 00:30:37,922 --> 00:30:41,024 I... I am. Okay, we are in the process of leaving, okay? 551 00:30:41,158 --> 00:30:42,259 We just haven't left yet. 552 00:30:46,230 --> 00:30:51,134 And you've been holding out on me? Huh? 553 00:30:51,870 --> 00:30:53,738 I got $3! 554 00:30:54,371 --> 00:30:57,842 And what pray tell is this? 555 00:30:57,976 --> 00:30:58,943 Nothing. 556 00:30:59,076 --> 00:31:00,310 - Give it to me. - Is this a play? 557 00:31:00,444 --> 00:31:01,813 - Give it back. - You really are a playwright. 558 00:31:01,946 --> 00:31:04,014 I am not a playwright! 559 00:31:04,849 --> 00:31:07,050 I am not a playwright. 560 00:31:07,551 --> 00:31:12,623 Cancel his ticket. I am here to pick you up, that's it. 561 00:31:12,757 --> 00:31:14,692 I will be in the car. 562 00:31:14,826 --> 00:31:17,261 You want me to read it? 563 00:31:28,305 --> 00:31:30,140 Yeah. Yeah, right. 564 00:31:43,888 --> 00:31:46,456 You would read my play? 565 00:31:49,159 --> 00:31:52,329 It's why you brought it, isn't it? 566 00:31:56,968 --> 00:31:58,235 You're serious. 567 00:31:59,603 --> 00:32:01,104 Going once. 568 00:32:01,238 --> 00:32:03,041 Yes, yes! Yes, of course! 569 00:32:03,173 --> 00:32:04,809 While I wait for my train. 570 00:32:04,943 --> 00:32:06,376 Mr. Harris, please. 571 00:32:06,510 --> 00:32:09,513 Have you ever seen a Pulitzer Prize? 572 00:32:10,213 --> 00:32:13,150 As trophies go, it's very tasteful. 573 00:32:13,283 --> 00:32:16,654 Elegant, even distinguished. 574 00:32:17,421 --> 00:32:19,891 Mr. Harris, if you get on that train, I'll be fired. 575 00:32:20,024 --> 00:32:22,326 I'm proud to say that I have 576 00:32:22,459 --> 00:32:25,362 been banned for life 577 00:32:25,495 --> 00:32:27,197 from the Cornelia Street Playhouse. 578 00:32:27,331 --> 00:32:28,265 In Philadelphia. 579 00:32:28,398 --> 00:32:29,566 You've been to Philadelphia? 580 00:32:29,701 --> 00:32:30,835 No, but... 581 00:32:30,969 --> 00:32:32,904 As soon as you arrive, you realize you're the 582 00:32:33,037 --> 00:32:34,371 smartest person in town. 583 00:32:34,504 --> 00:32:35,773 We were doing The Man Who Died A... 584 00:32:35,907 --> 00:32:36,841 The Man Who Died Again. 585 00:32:36,975 --> 00:32:38,042 Oh, you know this story? 586 00:32:38,175 --> 00:32:39,343 - No, only that... - Well then, shut up. 587 00:32:40,210 --> 00:32:42,112 I'm waxing poetic about myself. 588 00:32:42,245 --> 00:32:44,514 Much like with the visiting muse, 589 00:32:44,648 --> 00:32:45,883 it doesn't happen that often, 590 00:32:46,818 --> 00:32:49,721 so you're aware of writing via the muse. 591 00:32:49,854 --> 00:32:50,788 Yes, of course. 592 00:32:51,254 --> 00:32:52,289 Do you have one? 593 00:32:52,422 --> 00:32:53,858 Doesn't everybody? 594 00:32:53,992 --> 00:32:54,726 Where is it? 595 00:32:54,859 --> 00:32:56,226 Where's what? 596 00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,462 Your muse, I'd like to meet him. 597 00:32:58,595 --> 00:33:00,130 Or her. 598 00:33:00,263 --> 00:33:02,132 Maybe it's her... it. Maybe it's an "it". 599 00:33:02,265 --> 00:33:03,400 I don't... 600 00:33:05,268 --> 00:33:05,837 Not having one myself, 601 00:33:06,671 --> 00:33:09,473 I'm curious as to what one looks like. 602 00:33:09,606 --> 00:33:12,810 A little bird sits on your shoulder, chirping its way 603 00:33:12,944 --> 00:33:16,513 through your story like some know-it-all tour guide. 604 00:33:17,081 --> 00:33:18,382 What about the inner voice? 605 00:33:18,515 --> 00:33:19,751 You're hearing voices? 606 00:33:19,884 --> 00:33:22,654 Simon said every artist has an inner voice. 607 00:33:24,554 --> 00:33:26,691 If Simon is hearing voices, 608 00:33:26,824 --> 00:33:28,693 he should be locked in a padded room. 609 00:33:28,826 --> 00:33:31,294 I wrote every one of my plays without the assistance of 610 00:33:31,428 --> 00:33:32,562 anyone, thank you very much. 611 00:33:32,697 --> 00:33:34,331 Including artistic directors who 612 00:33:34,464 --> 00:33:36,366 were too important to meet my train. 613 00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:37,434 What are you doing? 614 00:33:37,567 --> 00:33:38,670 I'm calling Simon. 615 00:33:46,044 --> 00:33:48,178 Oh, no, no, no, no! 616 00:33:48,311 --> 00:33:49,212 Oh my God! 617 00:33:49,346 --> 00:33:51,082 Oh my God, stop! 618 00:33:51,214 --> 00:33:53,651 Stop! Oh! 619 00:33:54,719 --> 00:33:56,353 Now give me your credit card. 620 00:33:56,486 --> 00:33:57,789 You broke my phone! 621 00:33:57,922 --> 00:33:58,856 Your credit card! 622 00:33:58,990 --> 00:33:59,957 I don't have a credit card! 623 00:34:00,091 --> 00:34:01,025 Of course, you do! 624 00:34:02,325 --> 00:34:03,995 Every young person in today's theatre has a credit card, a toy 625 00:34:04,128 --> 00:34:05,529 phone, and a Lamborghini! 626 00:34:05,663 --> 00:34:07,497 Bought and paid for by well-funded parents who can't 627 00:34:07,631 --> 00:34:09,366 stand the idea of their son 628 00:34:09,499 --> 00:34:11,736 going into such a vagrant profession! 629 00:34:11,869 --> 00:34:12,602 Let me guess? 630 00:34:12,737 --> 00:34:14,172 Daddy and mommy wanted their son 631 00:34:14,304 --> 00:34:16,140 who's not a playwright to be a doctor? 632 00:34:16,273 --> 00:34:17,240 No. 633 00:34:17,374 --> 00:34:18,608 A lawyer? How about a lawyer? 634 00:34:19,576 --> 00:34:20,610 How about President of the United States? 635 00:34:21,478 --> 00:34:22,479 They've lowered the entry requirements, 636 00:34:22,612 --> 00:34:23,748 I don't know if you've heard! 637 00:34:24,648 --> 00:34:27,151 Wing nuts! My family's into wing nuts! 638 00:34:27,284 --> 00:34:28,986 It's the small nut 639 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,155 with the little metal wings on it, so you can screw... 640 00:34:31,288 --> 00:34:32,190 I know what a... 641 00:34:33,356 --> 00:34:35,727 We're the largest wing nut manufacturer in the Midwest. 642 00:34:41,032 --> 00:34:42,900 Where would the world be without the wing nut? 643 00:34:43,034 --> 00:34:46,636 Yeah, that's what my father says every Thanksgiving. 644 00:34:46,771 --> 00:34:50,708 And I nod, answering a question he never asks, assuring him that 645 00:34:50,842 --> 00:34:53,543 yes, some day I will come crawling back, begging him to 646 00:34:53,678 --> 00:34:57,882 please let me spend the rest of my life in wing nuts. 647 00:35:04,321 --> 00:35:07,491 All because you looked down from your end of the table and said, 648 00:35:07,624 --> 00:35:09,026 "I want to be in the Arts." 649 00:35:10,928 --> 00:35:13,563 I might as well have said I was running off to join the circus. 650 00:35:14,165 --> 00:35:15,432 You are. 651 00:35:16,466 --> 00:35:17,735 He said "The-a-tre is no place for a real man. 652 00:35:17,869 --> 00:35:21,471 It's nothing but lowlifes, misfits, and..." 653 00:35:51,169 --> 00:35:56,573 Does this Simon person, with no play to direct, have any talent? 654 00:35:57,307 --> 00:36:00,343 Very much so. Yes. 655 00:36:00,878 --> 00:36:04,414 Last season he won the Lima Award for his 656 00:36:04,548 --> 00:36:05,817 production of Our Town. 657 00:36:06,550 --> 00:36:08,786 He won a what? 658 00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,121 A Lima. 659 00:36:10,655 --> 00:36:12,522 It's our local in-house theatre award. 660 00:36:12,657 --> 00:36:14,225 We have the ceremony at the end of the year. 661 00:36:14,357 --> 00:36:15,927 Everybody comes. It's nice. 662 00:36:16,060 --> 00:36:18,296 It's not a Tony or a Pulitzer, but then we're not New York. 663 00:36:18,461 --> 00:36:19,964 You're not even Philadelphia. 664 00:36:20,097 --> 00:36:21,464 Has he read the play? 665 00:36:21,598 --> 00:36:22,867 Oh God, no. 666 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:23,901 And why not? 667 00:36:24,068 --> 00:36:25,169 Well, he was going to. 668 00:36:26,403 --> 00:36:27,839 He really was, and then for whatever reason, he didn't get 669 00:36:29,106 --> 00:36:29,974 to it, which is completely understandable. He's very busy. 670 00:36:30,107 --> 00:36:31,408 Winning Limas. 671 00:36:31,976 --> 00:36:33,044 My Mother read it. 672 00:36:33,177 --> 00:36:34,477 Did she love it? 673 00:36:34,611 --> 00:36:37,815 Not really. When I asked her 674 00:36:37,949 --> 00:36:39,116 what she liked about it, she said, 675 00:36:39,250 --> 00:36:40,685 "The pages were in order." 676 00:36:40,818 --> 00:36:42,220 Hmm. 677 00:36:42,352 --> 00:36:43,587 I thought that was a little harsh. 678 00:36:44,255 --> 00:36:45,756 Do you have a title? 679 00:36:45,890 --> 00:36:47,058 A title. 680 00:36:47,191 --> 00:36:49,626 For this brilliant play I'm about to read. 681 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:51,461 Oh, I'd rather not say. 682 00:36:51,996 --> 00:36:54,932 Oh, I'd Rather Not Say by Kenneth Waters. 683 00:36:55,066 --> 00:36:55,967 Very funny. 684 00:36:57,001 --> 00:36:58,602 Let's imagine that up on a marquee, shall we? 685 00:36:58,736 --> 00:37:01,105 That's the first thing I do whenever I finish a play. 686 00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:05,343 I take a cab up to the Belasco, still best theatre in New York, 687 00:37:05,475 --> 00:37:10,047 bar none, and I stand on the opposite side of the street and 688 00:37:10,181 --> 00:37:13,050 I try to picture my title up in lights. 689 00:37:13,184 --> 00:37:14,618 And if I can envision it... 690 00:37:14,752 --> 00:37:16,220 The Great American Play. 691 00:37:16,354 --> 00:37:17,288 It hasn't been written yet. 692 00:37:17,420 --> 00:37:18,723 Never will be, for that matter. 693 00:37:18,856 --> 00:37:21,158 In art, there can never be a greatest anything. 694 00:37:21,292 --> 00:37:26,097 Play, novel, painting, symphony, burger, try 695 00:37:26,230 --> 00:37:29,333 as we might, it will never be because as soon as one of us 696 00:37:29,466 --> 00:37:31,068 gets close, it will be missed. 697 00:37:31,202 --> 00:37:33,204 Or, more than likely, dismissed. 698 00:37:34,038 --> 00:37:37,675 We are no longer qualified to recognize greatness. 699 00:37:38,376 --> 00:37:42,713 We have no idea what it looks like. 700 00:37:45,016 --> 00:37:50,420 To recognize true greatness, one must be willing to be troubled. 701 00:37:52,056 --> 00:37:54,125 Disturbed. 702 00:37:56,093 --> 00:37:58,696 Changed. 703 00:37:59,297 --> 00:38:03,034 And no one wants to be any of those things. 704 00:38:05,435 --> 00:38:07,570 That's the title. 705 00:38:10,540 --> 00:38:13,610 Of what? 706 00:38:15,313 --> 00:38:16,681 My play. 707 00:38:17,248 --> 00:38:21,819 The title of your play is The Great American Play? 708 00:38:23,020 --> 00:38:24,855 Yes. 709 00:38:25,588 --> 00:38:28,759 Out of all the possible titles. 710 00:38:28,893 --> 00:38:29,961 I know. 711 00:38:33,898 --> 00:38:34,832 Is it? 712 00:38:35,433 --> 00:38:37,068 It's just the title. 713 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,271 So it's not the Great American Play. 714 00:38:40,404 --> 00:38:41,339 Far from it. 715 00:38:42,406 --> 00:38:44,008 And yet, your title would lead me to believe... 716 00:38:44,141 --> 00:38:45,343 Tentative title. 717 00:38:45,475 --> 00:38:47,411 Well, don't change it now. It might be perfect. 718 00:38:47,544 --> 00:38:48,645 It's just a play. 719 00:38:57,755 --> 00:38:59,957 There is no such thing 720 00:39:02,660 --> 00:39:04,061 as "just a play". 721 00:39:14,604 --> 00:39:17,808 This is your art. Say it. 722 00:39:18,508 --> 00:39:19,509 Say what? 723 00:39:19,642 --> 00:39:20,878 This is my art. 724 00:39:21,412 --> 00:39:22,813 This is my art. 725 00:39:22,947 --> 00:39:23,948 Louder. 726 00:39:24,081 --> 00:39:25,950 This is my art. 727 00:39:26,083 --> 00:39:27,251 This is my art! 728 00:39:27,385 --> 00:39:28,585 This is my art! 729 00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:30,721 I am an artist and this is my art! 730 00:39:30,855 --> 00:39:32,555 I am an artist and this is my art! 731 00:39:32,690 --> 00:39:34,058 I am an artist and this is my art! 732 00:39:34,191 --> 00:39:35,893 I am an artist and this is my art! 733 00:39:36,027 --> 00:39:37,728 I am an artist and this is my art! 734 00:39:37,862 --> 00:39:39,430 I am an artist and this is my art! 735 00:39:39,562 --> 00:39:40,831 I am an artist and this is my art! 736 00:39:40,965 --> 00:39:42,066 I am an artist and this is my art! 737 00:39:42,199 --> 00:39:43,533 I am an artist and this is my art! 738 00:39:43,667 --> 00:39:44,935 I am an artist and this is my art! 739 00:39:45,069 --> 00:39:46,536 I am an artist and this is my art! 740 00:39:46,670 --> 00:39:48,039 I am an artist and this is my art! 741 00:39:49,206 --> 00:39:50,408 I am an artist, Mr. Harris! Mr. Harris, Mr. Harris! 742 00:39:51,375 --> 00:39:52,910 Keep off my pew! This is my pew! 743 00:39:53,044 --> 00:39:54,644 I am an artist and this is my art! 744 00:39:56,013 --> 00:39:58,983 I am an artist and this is art. 745 00:39:59,116 --> 00:40:01,819 I am an artist and this is my art! 746 00:40:01,952 --> 00:40:04,155 I am an artist and this is my... 747 00:40:04,288 --> 00:40:06,424 I am an artist and this is my art! 748 00:40:08,359 --> 00:40:09,527 I am an artist... 749 00:40:09,660 --> 00:40:10,795 Get outta here! 750 00:40:11,829 --> 00:40:14,331 I am an art... I am an artist. I am an artist. 751 00:40:15,533 --> 00:40:16,834 I am an artist. 752 00:40:16,967 --> 00:40:18,836 Mr. Harris? 753 00:40:19,136 --> 00:40:20,805 I am an artist. 754 00:40:22,006 --> 00:40:25,209 Mr. Harris, there's a train! Mr. Harris! 755 00:40:26,277 --> 00:40:28,079 Mr. Harris! 756 00:40:41,959 --> 00:40:44,095 Mr. Harris, where are you... where are you going? 757 00:40:44,228 --> 00:40:45,796 Mr.... Mr. Harris! 758 00:40:48,265 --> 00:40:49,500 I didn't call the cops. 759 00:40:49,632 --> 00:40:50,568 I appreciate it. 760 00:40:51,435 --> 00:40:52,303 Just keep him the hell off my pews. 761 00:40:52,436 --> 00:40:53,270 I will, I will. 762 00:40:54,305 --> 00:40:54,972 Them come straight outta the Methodist Church. 763 00:40:55,638 --> 00:40:56,774 Jesus Himself sat in 'em. 764 00:40:58,175 --> 00:41:00,111 Yeah, okay. 765 00:41:00,244 --> 00:41:01,812 Mr. Harris! 766 00:41:02,980 --> 00:41:06,383 Mr. Harris! Mr. Harris, are you okay? 767 00:41:06,517 --> 00:41:07,918 Mr. Harris! 768 00:41:08,052 --> 00:41:09,487 Do you remember 9/11? 769 00:41:09,619 --> 00:41:11,255 Huh? 770 00:41:11,388 --> 00:41:12,790 Do you remember 9/11? 771 00:41:12,923 --> 00:41:14,391 Yes, of course. 772 00:41:14,525 --> 00:41:15,693 What did you think? 773 00:41:16,427 --> 00:41:17,461 What did I think? 774 00:41:18,395 --> 00:41:19,563 What did you... tell me what you thought. 775 00:41:20,764 --> 00:41:22,366 I thought it was a tragedy. It changed the whole world. 776 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,835 I thought it was Shakespearean. 777 00:41:25,970 --> 00:41:27,037 Did you think it was Shakespearean? 778 00:41:27,171 --> 00:41:28,139 I thought it w... 779 00:41:28,272 --> 00:41:29,173 Yeah, definitely. 780 00:41:30,407 --> 00:41:32,243 I'd like to think if the Bard had written it, he might've 781 00:41:32,376 --> 00:41:34,211 toned down on some of the gruesomeness. 782 00:41:35,212 --> 00:41:37,882 Even he couldn't have written that day. 783 00:41:39,383 --> 00:41:42,353 Look, Mr. Harris, just talk this out, okay? 784 00:41:42,486 --> 00:41:43,354 We'll get in my car. 785 00:41:43,487 --> 00:41:44,488 Please. 786 00:41:44,622 --> 00:41:45,689 I have a MasterCard. 787 00:41:45,823 --> 00:41:47,791 I have a MasterCard! 788 00:41:47,925 --> 00:41:48,926 You're right! 789 00:41:49,059 --> 00:41:50,694 And I will use that MasterCard 790 00:41:50,828 --> 00:41:54,198 to pay for your ticket after you read my play. 791 00:41:55,699 --> 00:41:58,536 Before. 792 00:41:58,669 --> 00:42:02,373 After. I'm going to lose everything, Mr. Harris. My 793 00:42:02,506 --> 00:42:04,341 apprenticeship, my affiliation with the theatre, 794 00:42:04,475 --> 00:42:07,211 and there's a very good chance I may wind up back in wing nuts! 795 00:42:07,344 --> 00:42:09,780 So when you say you're gonna read my play, I need to know 796 00:42:09,914 --> 00:42:11,815 you're really going to read my play. 797 00:42:13,083 --> 00:42:14,151 Even if it kills me. 798 00:42:14,285 --> 00:42:15,654 Look, on one condition. 799 00:42:15,786 --> 00:42:17,955 You, you have to tell me the truth. 800 00:42:18,088 --> 00:42:19,256 Huh. 801 00:42:19,990 --> 00:42:21,592 I also have a condition. 802 00:42:21,725 --> 00:42:23,928 Yeah, anything. You name it. 803 00:42:24,628 --> 00:42:26,397 Alcohol. 804 00:42:28,365 --> 00:42:29,466 Okay, alcohol. Okay. 805 00:42:37,575 --> 00:42:38,776 No, no! 806 00:42:53,591 --> 00:42:54,659 Hey, liquor run! 807 00:42:54,792 --> 00:42:55,826 Liquor run! 808 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,528 It's 2:45, we're closed! 809 00:42:57,662 --> 00:42:58,629 Come on, man! 810 00:42:58,762 --> 00:43:00,531 I have never been more closed. 811 00:43:00,665 --> 00:43:01,599 Come on! 812 00:43:02,833 --> 00:43:04,235 I'm more closed than my options after I failed high school. 813 00:43:04,368 --> 00:43:05,704 I'm desperate. 814 00:43:05,836 --> 00:43:07,972 I'm more closed than the casket was on my father's funeral. 815 00:43:08,105 --> 00:43:09,440 I'm more closed than the 816 00:43:09,573 --> 00:43:11,442 chance to reconcile with my girlfriend. 817 00:43:11,575 --> 00:43:14,845 I'm so closed, I can feel my biological processes 818 00:43:14,979 --> 00:43:15,879 shutting down! 819 00:43:16,013 --> 00:43:17,014 I got it! 820 00:43:32,396 --> 00:43:34,733 Gas station, there is. Bar's closed, bar's closed now. 821 00:43:34,865 --> 00:43:36,066 Oh, Hope! Hope! 822 00:43:47,645 --> 00:43:50,749 Hope! 823 00:43:50,881 --> 00:43:54,018 Hope! Hope! 824 00:43:56,220 --> 00:44:00,457 Hope! Hope! Hope, Hope! Hope, Hope, hi! 825 00:44:00,591 --> 00:44:02,359 Step away from the door. 1... 826 00:44:02,493 --> 00:44:03,460 No, no, no, no, wait! 827 00:44:03,594 --> 00:44:04,528 2... 828 00:44:04,663 --> 00:44:05,562 No, it's me! Kenneth Waters! 829 00:44:06,797 --> 00:44:08,399 We dated in high school and after the Sadie Hawkins Dance, 830 00:44:08,532 --> 00:44:09,266 I told you I loved you and how I wanted to marry you 831 00:44:12,903 --> 00:44:14,471 Wing nut? 832 00:44:39,698 --> 00:44:42,599 What have you been doing with yourself other than drinking? 833 00:44:42,734 --> 00:44:43,702 I'm in the theatre. 834 00:44:43,834 --> 00:44:44,902 Cineplex? 835 00:44:45,035 --> 00:44:46,437 No. The legit theatre, 836 00:44:46,570 --> 00:44:48,072 I'm an apprentice at the Lima Playhouse. 837 00:44:48,205 --> 00:44:50,474 What happened to making wing nuts? 838 00:44:50,607 --> 00:44:51,909 Yeah, it wasn't for me. 839 00:44:52,476 --> 00:44:54,144 Are you an actor? 840 00:44:54,278 --> 00:44:56,480 Uh, no, I'm... I write. 841 00:44:56,613 --> 00:44:58,282 Write what? 842 00:44:58,415 --> 00:44:59,383 Plays. 843 00:45:00,317 --> 00:45:01,552 You mean like pretend? 844 00:45:01,686 --> 00:45:04,121 Yeah, no. No, they're real. The plays 845 00:45:04,254 --> 00:45:06,791 are real. Only they're not. It's hard to explain. 846 00:45:07,358 --> 00:45:09,761 You should've gone into wing nuts. 847 00:45:09,893 --> 00:45:11,562 Vicki told me I should reconsider. 848 00:45:11,696 --> 00:45:14,365 I said reconsider what, we're sophomores in high 849 00:45:14,498 --> 00:45:16,300 school, there's plenty of fish in the sea, you know? 850 00:45:16,433 --> 00:45:18,569 The Junior Class alone was loaded. 851 00:45:18,703 --> 00:45:20,839 Yeah, well, we were kids, what did we know. 852 00:45:20,971 --> 00:45:23,874 I'm not seeing any gin. 853 00:45:24,007 --> 00:45:25,943 All I got is beer and wine. 854 00:45:26,076 --> 00:45:28,479 Yeah, okay. 855 00:45:30,514 --> 00:45:33,450 You would not believe the night I'm having. 856 00:45:34,084 --> 00:45:35,619 Do you know who Joseph Harris is? 857 00:45:35,754 --> 00:45:37,054 Was he in our class? 858 00:45:38,222 --> 00:45:40,859 No, he's a playwright and he's here right now in Lima, 859 00:45:40,991 --> 00:45:42,359 at the train station, 860 00:45:42,493 --> 00:45:43,894 reading my play. 861 00:45:44,863 --> 00:45:47,364 Are you dating anybody? 862 00:45:48,198 --> 00:45:50,601 I got Mondays off. 863 00:45:50,735 --> 00:45:51,703 You could take me to the 864 00:45:52,737 --> 00:45:53,470 playhouse and I can watch you write somethin'. 865 00:45:54,171 --> 00:45:54,806 Well, it's not that exciting. 866 00:45:56,073 --> 00:45:58,208 Is it more exciting than selling beer at 3:15 in the morning? 867 00:46:06,818 --> 00:46:09,153 Trapped inside a little box. 868 00:46:09,821 --> 00:46:12,623 Of your own making, I might add. 869 00:46:14,391 --> 00:46:16,326 I know. 870 00:46:17,094 --> 00:46:18,830 You know? 871 00:46:18,962 --> 00:46:22,399 You don't think I do, but I do. 872 00:46:23,133 --> 00:46:25,235 And what is it you know? 873 00:46:25,369 --> 00:46:29,006 I know who said, the "first sign of 874 00:46:29,139 --> 00:46:32,409 understanding is the wish to die". 875 00:46:33,912 --> 00:46:36,246 Dostoevsky. 876 00:46:36,848 --> 00:46:39,082 Kafka. 877 00:46:48,158 --> 00:46:49,928 Franz. 878 00:46:50,060 --> 00:46:50,929 Lawrence. 879 00:46:51,061 --> 00:46:51,930 How's it goin'? 880 00:46:52,062 --> 00:46:53,163 Okay. 881 00:46:53,297 --> 00:46:55,532 Like Grand Central in here tonight. 882 00:46:55,667 --> 00:46:57,301 He's from New York. 883 00:46:57,434 --> 00:46:58,635 What's he doin' here? 884 00:46:58,770 --> 00:46:59,904 Theatre. 885 00:47:00,037 --> 00:47:01,104 Cineplex? 886 00:47:01,238 --> 00:47:02,740 Playhouse. 887 00:47:03,373 --> 00:47:06,109 The wife dragged me to one of those once. After five 888 00:47:06,243 --> 00:47:07,578 minutes they'd stop doing what 889 00:47:07,712 --> 00:47:09,346 they were doin' and start singin'. 890 00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:11,248 I said that's not normal behavior. 891 00:47:11,381 --> 00:47:12,649 She said is it supposed to be? 892 00:47:12,784 --> 00:47:15,152 I said then what the hell am I watchin'? 893 00:47:16,253 --> 00:47:19,990 It's not just a play, it's art. 894 00:47:20,123 --> 00:47:21,992 And when it works when the 895 00:47:22,125 --> 00:47:25,128 writing, and the acting, and the directing... 896 00:47:27,164 --> 00:47:30,567 And the writing, and the acting, and the directing, and the set 897 00:47:30,702 --> 00:47:33,237 design, and the props, and the writing, when it all comes 898 00:47:33,370 --> 00:47:35,305 together, it's better than movies. 899 00:47:35,439 --> 00:47:36,640 It's better than TV. 900 00:47:36,774 --> 00:47:38,408 Can I get it on my phone? 901 00:47:38,542 --> 00:47:40,377 No. 902 00:47:49,486 --> 00:47:51,723 Okay, okay. Oh! 903 00:47:53,290 --> 00:47:55,259 Here we go. 904 00:48:03,001 --> 00:48:04,802 So? 905 00:48:04,936 --> 00:48:07,604 Yes. Do you have a...? 906 00:48:07,739 --> 00:48:09,306 Yeah, yes. 907 00:48:13,811 --> 00:48:15,546 Take your time. 908 00:48:16,881 --> 00:48:17,849 Hi! 909 00:48:17,982 --> 00:48:18,917 Hey. 910 00:48:19,049 --> 00:48:20,818 Merry Christmas. 911 00:48:20,952 --> 00:48:23,220 Merry Christmas. 912 00:48:23,353 --> 00:48:24,923 He didn't say anything, did he? 913 00:48:25,055 --> 00:48:26,691 Not about your play. 914 00:48:27,959 --> 00:48:29,226 He's reading my play. 915 00:48:29,359 --> 00:48:31,328 It got singin' in it? 916 00:48:31,461 --> 00:48:34,531 No. Does he look bored to you? 917 00:48:35,165 --> 00:48:37,267 Don't worry about me, I can take it. I'm used to criticism. 918 00:48:37,401 --> 00:48:39,303 We criticize each other in the theatre all the time. 919 00:48:39,436 --> 00:48:40,537 That's how we grow. 920 00:48:42,272 --> 00:48:42,941 See ya tomorrow. 921 00:48:43,106 --> 00:48:45,342 See ya tomorrow. 922 00:49:40,197 --> 00:49:41,766 Would you like some coffee? 923 00:49:41,899 --> 00:49:43,300 Something to eat? 924 00:49:43,433 --> 00:49:44,601 I can run out and get you something real quick, 925 00:49:44,736 --> 00:49:45,837 if you'd like? 926 00:49:45,970 --> 00:49:47,105 I know what you can do, pay for my ticket. 927 00:49:47,237 --> 00:49:48,271 After we discuss my play. 928 00:49:48,405 --> 00:49:49,539 Play? What play? 929 00:49:49,674 --> 00:49:51,375 I read so many, it's hard to keep track. 930 00:49:52,043 --> 00:49:54,511 Well, just so you know, I've never done this before. 931 00:49:54,645 --> 00:49:56,814 That's not to say you can't be brutally honest with me. 932 00:49:56,948 --> 00:49:58,548 Don't worry about me, I'm my own worst critic, 933 00:49:58,683 --> 00:49:59,984 so anything you could say I've 934 00:50:00,118 --> 00:50:00,852 probably already said it to myself. 935 00:50:01,986 --> 00:50:03,387 So that being said, say anything that comes to mind. 936 00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,823 Also, this is my first play. 937 00:50:05,957 --> 00:50:06,958 You probably could tell though, 938 00:50:07,091 --> 00:50:08,592 but still, in case you couldn't. 939 00:50:09,526 --> 00:50:11,294 You couldn't, could you? 940 00:50:11,428 --> 00:50:12,764 Or could you? 941 00:50:12,897 --> 00:50:14,032 No, don't answer that. 942 00:50:14,164 --> 00:50:15,565 Also, I know I have a lot to learn. 943 00:50:15,700 --> 00:50:16,901 And even though I've never had my 944 00:50:17,035 --> 00:50:18,836 work analyzed by anyone, 945 00:50:19,003 --> 00:50:20,038 certainly by anyone of your stature, though 946 00:50:21,005 --> 00:50:22,707 I did do a small reading with some friends 947 00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:23,440 of mine and after we were finished, they really didn't 948 00:50:24,742 --> 00:50:25,275 have anything constructive to say except for this one actress 949 00:50:26,010 --> 00:50:26,443 who thought her character should 950 00:50:27,277 --> 00:50:27,679 have more lines, but other than that. 951 00:50:27,979 --> 00:50:28,746 So... 952 00:50:29,681 --> 00:50:30,647 Oh, also if you could start by telling me 953 00:50:30,782 --> 00:50:31,949 something you liked about it. 954 00:50:32,950 --> 00:50:34,284 It can be a line, a character, a plot twist. 955 00:50:34,418 --> 00:50:35,720 Anything. Anything at all. 956 00:50:35,853 --> 00:50:37,354 And then feel free to tear it to shreds. 957 00:50:37,487 --> 00:50:40,290 Or not. Or whatever. I'm talking too much. 958 00:50:40,424 --> 00:50:41,491 I'd much rather hear what you have to say. 959 00:50:41,625 --> 00:50:43,493 Whenever you're ready. 960 00:50:44,561 --> 00:50:47,098 Have you ever eaten in a restaurant? 961 00:50:47,230 --> 00:50:48,632 What? 962 00:50:49,466 --> 00:50:50,702 Have you ever eaten in... 963 00:50:50,835 --> 00:50:52,103 Yes, of course I've eaten in a restaurant. 964 00:50:52,235 --> 00:50:53,137 Oh good. 965 00:50:54,371 --> 00:50:55,405 Well... oh... well, eating in this restaurant, have you ever 966 00:50:56,140 --> 00:50:56,874 experienced someone spending the 967 00:50:57,909 --> 00:50:59,877 entire meal sampling the food off your plate? 968 00:51:00,011 --> 00:51:01,112 Uh. 969 00:51:01,244 --> 00:51:02,212 Don't you hate that? 970 00:51:02,345 --> 00:51:03,848 My agent is the worst. 971 00:51:05,049 --> 00:51:06,818 I... I'll be sitting there, minding my own business, next 972 00:51:06,951 --> 00:51:09,586 thing I know she's poking her way through my pasta like she's 973 00:51:09,721 --> 00:51:11,321 heading some archaeological dig. 974 00:51:11,455 --> 00:51:12,556 What does... 975 00:51:13,390 --> 00:51:13,991 "Just a taste. Just a little taste." 976 00:51:15,258 --> 00:51:17,061 Swear to God, there are people, you put 'em in front of food, 977 00:51:17,195 --> 00:51:19,529 they turn into cattle. 978 00:51:19,664 --> 00:51:22,166 Grazing their way around the table. 979 00:51:22,299 --> 00:51:23,266 Mr. Harris. 980 00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:24,869 A restaurant is not a pasture. 981 00:51:25,002 --> 00:51:25,937 God, how I hate that. 982 00:51:26,070 --> 00:51:27,038 Don't you hate that? 983 00:51:27,171 --> 00:51:28,039 Tell me you hate that. 984 00:51:28,172 --> 00:51:29,707 I hate that. 985 00:51:29,841 --> 00:51:30,775 Good. 986 00:51:31,876 --> 00:51:33,310 'Cause as much as I hate that, it's not nearly as 987 00:51:33,443 --> 00:51:35,278 much as I hated your play. 988 00:51:46,289 --> 00:51:50,928 Yes, hate. I tried to find something more palatable. 989 00:51:51,829 --> 00:51:55,398 Loathe, despise, 990 00:51:55,532 --> 00:51:57,334 abhor, condemn. 991 00:51:57,467 --> 00:51:58,703 I condemn your play. 992 00:51:58,836 --> 00:52:01,638 But no, in the end "hate" will have to do. 993 00:52:06,077 --> 00:52:08,212 This, of course, would be where, in an effort to 994 00:52:08,345 --> 00:52:13,316 extricate us both from a... an awkward situation, I say, 995 00:52:13,450 --> 00:52:15,753 "Perhaps, I'm being too harsh." 996 00:52:16,586 --> 00:52:18,555 But I don't. 997 00:52:19,289 --> 00:52:21,324 Instead, I turn to you and say, 998 00:52:21,458 --> 00:52:23,393 "Pay for my ticket." 999 00:52:26,596 --> 00:52:30,201 Oh, when you um, hmm... yeah, 1000 00:52:30,333 --> 00:52:32,435 well, when... when you say "hate"... 1001 00:52:33,336 --> 00:52:35,139 Oh God, he wants... wants more. 1002 00:52:35,273 --> 00:52:36,240 Write this down. 1003 00:52:36,373 --> 00:52:37,541 I think I'll remember this. 1004 00:52:37,675 --> 00:52:38,776 I can't hear you. 1005 00:52:39,643 --> 00:52:40,211 I said, I think I'll remember this. 1006 00:52:41,245 --> 00:52:45,082 In your play. I cannot hear you in your play. 1007 00:52:45,216 --> 00:52:46,117 Oh, I thought you were... 1008 00:52:46,250 --> 00:52:47,517 For whom are you writing? 1009 00:52:48,351 --> 00:52:49,452 What do you mean? 1010 00:52:49,586 --> 00:52:51,521 For whom are you writing? 1011 00:52:53,124 --> 00:52:54,357 The audience? 1012 00:52:54,491 --> 00:52:55,525 To hell with the audience. 1013 00:52:56,093 --> 00:52:58,062 You put your little fingers on your 1014 00:52:58,196 --> 00:52:59,730 little keyboard and you start typing what you 1015 00:52:59,864 --> 00:53:03,600 think, what you feel, what you want, 1016 00:53:04,302 --> 00:53:05,870 what you love, what you hate, 1017 00:53:06,436 --> 00:53:07,571 what you cannot stand, 1018 00:53:07,705 --> 00:53:09,006 what you refuse to allow, 1019 00:53:09,140 --> 00:53:10,041 what you must change, 1020 00:53:10,174 --> 00:53:11,108 because if you do that, 1021 00:53:11,242 --> 00:53:12,743 you will write who you are. 1022 00:53:13,711 --> 00:53:16,047 That said, you are the last thing I care about. 1023 00:53:16,180 --> 00:53:17,815 You care about the story. 1024 00:53:17,949 --> 00:53:19,050 Not the story. 1025 00:53:19,183 --> 00:53:20,450 The theme? 1026 00:53:20,584 --> 00:53:21,618 Stop being so academic. 1027 00:53:21,752 --> 00:53:22,920 When the curtain goes up, 1028 00:53:23,955 --> 00:53:26,556 I care about one thing and one thing only. Me. 1029 00:53:26,691 --> 00:53:28,993 When I'm not talking about myself, 1030 00:53:29,126 --> 00:53:30,560 I'm thinking about myself. 1031 00:53:30,695 --> 00:53:33,597 Therefore, it would stand to reason that the only 1032 00:53:33,731 --> 00:53:36,433 person I would want to know more about would be... 1033 00:53:38,002 --> 00:53:39,103 You. 1034 00:53:39,237 --> 00:53:40,470 Through you. 1035 00:53:40,604 --> 00:53:42,106 Through your play. 1036 00:53:42,639 --> 00:53:45,142 In order to do that, I have to hear you. 1037 00:53:45,843 --> 00:53:49,146 If as I'm reading your words, I can hear your voice, 1038 00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,182 I will in turn hear mine. 1039 00:53:51,749 --> 00:53:55,987 And when I hear mine, in concert with yours, you will 1040 00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:59,357 take me to a place that's deep, some place I may not want to go, 1041 00:53:59,489 --> 00:54:01,325 some place I may not want to leave. 1042 00:54:01,993 --> 00:54:07,064 And if we're both very, very lucky, you will have taken 1043 00:54:07,198 --> 00:54:09,033 me some place, 1044 00:54:09,934 --> 00:54:13,004 the only place worth writing about. 1045 00:54:14,338 --> 00:54:16,774 A place called "human". 1046 00:54:17,975 --> 00:54:22,612 When you write that, then and only then, 1047 00:54:22,747 --> 00:54:24,348 will you have a play. 1048 00:54:24,949 --> 00:54:28,152 And for God's sakes, change the title, 1049 00:54:28,286 --> 00:54:30,154 critics will have a field day. 1050 00:54:36,526 --> 00:54:40,998 I'd like to pay for my ticket. 1051 00:54:46,837 --> 00:54:50,675 Don't be so hard on yourself, it's your first play. 1052 00:54:52,209 --> 00:54:56,479 Worse, it's the first draft of your first play. 1053 00:54:56,613 --> 00:54:58,382 You're not even out of the womb yet. 1054 00:54:58,515 --> 00:54:59,616 Cash or charge? 1055 00:54:59,750 --> 00:55:00,985 Mr. Waters? 1056 00:55:01,986 --> 00:55:05,156 Your presence is requested. 1057 00:55:09,694 --> 00:55:12,562 Mr. Waters, I need your credit card. 1058 00:55:14,198 --> 00:55:16,734 I am an artist and this is my art. 1059 00:55:21,038 --> 00:55:23,107 I am an artist and this is my art. 1060 00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:25,376 Oh, for God's sake. 1061 00:55:25,910 --> 00:55:27,912 I am an artist and this is my art. 1062 00:55:28,045 --> 00:55:29,612 I'm not in the mood for this. 1063 00:55:29,747 --> 00:55:31,048 I am an artist and this is my art! 1064 00:55:31,182 --> 00:55:32,817 Mr. Waters, we have an agreement. 1065 00:55:32,950 --> 00:55:35,152 I am an artist and this is my art! 1066 00:55:35,286 --> 00:55:36,187 Waters. 1067 00:55:36,988 --> 00:55:37,822 I am an artist and this is my art! 1068 00:55:38,621 --> 00:55:40,358 I am an artist and this is my art! 1069 00:55:40,490 --> 00:55:41,392 I... I... 1070 00:55:42,193 --> 00:55:43,260 I am an artist and this is my art! 1071 00:55:44,061 --> 00:55:44,795 I am an artist and this is my art! 1072 00:55:45,528 --> 00:55:46,731 Waters, I need your credit card. 1073 00:55:46,864 --> 00:55:48,631 I am an artist and this is my art! 1074 00:55:48,766 --> 00:55:50,401 Get off my pew! 1075 00:55:50,533 --> 00:55:52,169 I am an artist and this is my art! 1076 00:55:52,303 --> 00:55:54,005 Get the hell off my pews or I'm callin' the cops! 1077 00:55:54,138 --> 00:55:55,006 Get off! 1078 00:55:55,139 --> 00:55:57,775 Yeah, okay, okay. 1079 00:55:58,409 --> 00:56:00,144 I gave you a beer, so unless you want me to 1080 00:56:00,277 --> 00:56:02,512 call the train people and tell them you drink on the job... 1081 00:56:16,660 --> 00:56:18,628 I got a couple questions! 1082 00:56:19,596 --> 00:56:20,831 Do you? 1083 00:56:20,965 --> 00:56:22,033 Mhmm. 1084 00:56:22,166 --> 00:56:23,134 About? 1085 00:56:23,267 --> 00:56:24,268 All sorts of things. 1086 00:56:24,402 --> 00:56:25,336 Where do I start? 1087 00:56:25,469 --> 00:56:26,871 Well, you could start by telling 1088 00:56:27,004 --> 00:56:29,173 me why you're not honoring our agreement. 1089 00:56:29,306 --> 00:56:30,708 Oh, I'm going to honor it! 1090 00:56:30,841 --> 00:56:31,909 I may not be able to write, 1091 00:56:32,043 --> 00:56:33,511 but honorable? That I can do! 1092 00:56:34,011 --> 00:56:35,513 I read your play, didn't I? 1093 00:56:35,645 --> 00:56:36,514 Yes, you did! 1094 00:56:36,646 --> 00:56:37,515 And we discussed it. 1095 00:56:37,647 --> 00:56:38,615 Yes, we did! 1096 00:56:38,749 --> 00:56:40,284 So what is it I haven't done? 1097 00:56:40,418 --> 00:56:42,820 Why haven't you written anything in almost 20 years? 1098 00:56:44,955 --> 00:56:46,457 Pay for my ticket. 1099 00:56:46,589 --> 00:56:48,959 Is it because you're a drunk? 1100 00:56:53,064 --> 00:56:57,902 "Look! Look, I'm Joseph Harris! 1101 00:56:58,035 --> 00:57:00,603 I think I'll sit down and not write a play! 1102 00:57:00,738 --> 00:57:04,508 Do you care to join me, Mr. Waters? Yes? No? 1103 00:57:04,675 --> 00:57:06,110 All the more for me. 1104 00:57:06,243 --> 00:57:09,547 I love being me. You should be so lucky." 1105 00:57:10,647 --> 00:57:14,318 Do you know what's worse than meeting your inspiration? Huh? 1106 00:57:14,452 --> 00:57:18,122 Coming face to face with your muse. That's right, Harris. 1107 00:57:18,255 --> 00:57:21,192 I have a muse, right here in my bag. 1108 00:57:25,496 --> 00:57:28,598 You! You are my muse! 1109 00:57:28,732 --> 00:57:30,901 Not some little bird who sits on my shoulder! 1110 00:57:31,035 --> 00:57:34,138 You! I know I'm supposed to have my own voice, 1111 00:57:34,271 --> 00:57:36,240 and truth, and soul, but I don't. 1112 00:57:36,373 --> 00:57:38,542 I'm not a playwright and I never will be. 1113 00:57:38,676 --> 00:57:39,642 Tell me the truth! 1114 00:57:39,777 --> 00:57:41,078 Tell me I'm not a playwright! 1115 00:57:45,416 --> 00:57:47,818 Do you want me to fix it? 1116 00:57:50,821 --> 00:57:52,156 What, you're just gonna sit here 1117 00:57:52,289 --> 00:57:53,924 and work some kind of a miracle, is that it? 1118 00:57:54,592 --> 00:57:56,393 Something like that. 1119 00:57:57,928 --> 00:58:00,397 Pay for my ticket, I'll fix your play. 1120 00:58:01,765 --> 00:58:03,901 Fix my play and I'll pay for your ticket. 1121 00:58:06,537 --> 00:58:08,139 Do you have a pen? 1122 00:58:10,374 --> 00:58:14,378 Uh. I think a lot of what's wrong 1123 00:58:14,512 --> 00:58:15,645 with it is in the Second Act. 1124 00:58:15,779 --> 00:58:17,248 Not that the First Act is so great, but I 1125 00:58:17,381 --> 00:58:19,049 ran into problems with the subplot about the brother. 1126 00:58:19,683 --> 00:58:20,951 I just don't know if he's that 1127 00:58:21,085 --> 00:58:21,986 interesting of a character, to be honest. 1128 00:58:22,119 --> 00:58:23,154 I like the sister, though. 1129 00:58:24,355 --> 00:58:25,089 She's modeled after my own sister who's this certifiable 1130 00:58:26,290 --> 00:58:27,224 maniac which is why anytime she opens her mouth, she... 1131 00:58:27,358 --> 00:58:28,826 Done. 1132 00:58:29,627 --> 00:58:31,095 You can't do that. 1133 00:58:31,228 --> 00:58:33,464 Great American Play by Joseph Harris. 1134 00:58:33,597 --> 00:58:35,266 Some judicious trimming, 1135 00:58:35,399 --> 00:58:37,334 I'm sure it will be to Simon's liking. 1136 00:58:38,335 --> 00:58:39,637 No. 1137 00:58:39,770 --> 00:58:40,671 You want to be a playwright? 1138 00:58:40,804 --> 00:58:42,339 You're a playwright. 1139 00:58:42,473 --> 00:58:43,641 Not like this. 1140 00:58:44,175 --> 00:58:46,410 Haven't you heard of collaboration? 1141 00:58:46,544 --> 00:58:48,379 It's the new rage. 1142 00:58:48,946 --> 00:58:50,614 Simon's gonna wanna know where you are. 1143 00:58:50,748 --> 00:58:53,117 I'll be in New York. 1144 00:58:53,951 --> 00:58:55,753 He's going to want to talk to you. 1145 00:58:55,886 --> 00:58:57,154 He's going to want to discuss the play. 1146 00:58:58,422 --> 00:59:01,660 I'm nothing if not eccentric and my latest eccentricity is that I 1147 00:59:01,792 --> 00:59:04,828 refuse to discuss my play with anyone other than you. 1148 00:59:04,962 --> 00:59:06,330 Uh, he won't buy that. 1149 00:59:07,231 --> 00:59:09,833 I'll tell him we have great chemistry. 1150 00:59:09,967 --> 00:59:11,435 He'll know it's not yours. 1151 00:59:11,569 --> 00:59:13,470 He hasn't read it, has he? 1152 00:59:13,604 --> 00:59:14,673 No. 1153 00:59:14,805 --> 00:59:17,174 Ah, perfect. Signed a contract 1154 00:59:17,308 --> 00:59:20,578 for a new play, no one said it had to be any good. 1155 00:59:21,111 --> 00:59:22,880 But it's not even in your style, your voice. 1156 00:59:23,013 --> 00:59:24,982 Don't be afraid, Mr. Waters. 1157 00:59:25,449 --> 00:59:29,620 You're about to become the luckiest apprentice in the 1158 00:59:29,753 --> 00:59:32,156 history of the American Theatre. 1159 00:59:35,993 --> 00:59:37,928 You still didn't answer my question. 1160 00:59:40,965 --> 00:59:45,769 Yes. I'm a drunk. 1161 00:59:54,278 --> 00:59:56,780 Is that why you want to kill yourself? 1162 01:00:12,896 --> 01:00:17,768 I am the way I am, because it makes everything the same. 1163 01:00:20,004 --> 01:00:23,274 Exactly as it should be, exactly 1164 01:00:23,407 --> 01:00:27,911 as it was, and always will be which is exactly how we like it. 1165 01:00:29,613 --> 01:00:31,148 Isn't it? 1166 01:00:33,083 --> 01:00:34,485 If you say so. 1167 01:00:34,618 --> 01:00:36,020 Oh, I know so. 1168 01:00:36,553 --> 01:00:39,556 Save us all from the one thing that we don't want to 1169 01:00:39,691 --> 01:00:41,258 face which is what, Mr. Waters? 1170 01:00:41,392 --> 01:00:45,796 What is that thing inside you, that thing your play lacks? 1171 01:00:47,898 --> 01:00:49,867 The truth? 1172 01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:53,871 Define truth. 1173 01:00:54,004 --> 01:00:55,906 Feeling more than we want to? 1174 01:00:56,807 --> 01:01:00,811 Feeling all of it. Every heartache, 1175 01:01:00,944 --> 01:01:04,315 every triumph, 1176 01:01:06,016 --> 01:01:08,319 right, wrong, 1177 01:01:08,452 --> 01:01:09,987 hope, and dream. 1178 01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:14,024 Love and loss. 1179 01:01:15,794 --> 01:01:19,196 All I know, all I don't, 1180 01:01:20,631 --> 01:01:23,233 all I am, and all I am not. 1181 01:01:29,106 --> 01:01:32,744 The 4:19 to Toledo will be arriving shortly. 1182 01:01:32,876 --> 01:01:35,245 Please be careful near the tracks. 1183 01:02:21,258 --> 01:02:24,027 Ah, mornin', Franz. 1184 01:02:24,161 --> 01:02:25,329 Mornin', Mary. 1185 01:02:25,462 --> 01:02:26,463 Merry Christmas. 1186 01:02:26,597 --> 01:02:27,766 How's your sister? 1187 01:02:29,066 --> 01:02:32,603 Uh, well, between you and me, if she'd just get it over with. 1188 01:02:32,737 --> 01:02:34,505 I got coffee made. 1189 01:02:34,638 --> 01:02:37,074 Oh no, no. No thanks, I'm fine. 1190 01:02:48,385 --> 01:02:50,154 Hello. 1191 01:02:50,921 --> 01:02:52,757 Hello. 1192 01:02:53,223 --> 01:02:55,626 You going to Toledo? 1193 01:02:56,627 --> 01:02:59,096 No. 1194 01:02:59,764 --> 01:03:01,733 I'm gonna see my sister. 1195 01:03:02,232 --> 01:03:03,934 She's dying of cancer. 1196 01:03:04,067 --> 01:03:06,303 It's very sad. 1197 01:03:12,209 --> 01:03:15,512 I'm not sorry. 1198 01:03:22,286 --> 01:03:24,488 Neither am I. 1199 01:03:25,355 --> 01:03:27,491 You want the ticket or not? 1200 01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:58,522 One last question. 1201 01:04:03,962 --> 01:04:06,997 Can you still think? 1202 01:04:11,001 --> 01:04:12,503 Answer the question. 1203 01:04:13,103 --> 01:04:15,539 It's not important. 1204 01:04:18,642 --> 01:04:21,445 You've never said anything unimportant in your life. 1205 01:04:34,659 --> 01:04:37,261 "There comes a time in the life of every playwright 1206 01:04:37,996 --> 01:04:40,597 when you realize you've written your great play. 1207 01:04:41,164 --> 01:04:42,734 I've written mine. 1208 01:04:44,002 --> 01:04:45,602 My fear is Up a Lonely River may not only be the best play I have 1209 01:04:45,737 --> 01:04:48,205 ever written, but it is quite possibly the best play 1210 01:04:48,338 --> 01:04:49,406 I will ever write. 1211 01:04:50,407 --> 01:04:52,509 Knowing this is frightening enough, but one's 1212 01:04:52,643 --> 01:04:55,178 only hope of overcoming the daunting prospect of never being 1213 01:04:55,312 --> 01:04:57,682 able to live up to yourself is 1214 01:04:57,815 --> 01:04:59,249 to sit down at your desk every morning, 1215 01:04:59,383 --> 01:05:01,118 put your fingers on the keys, 1216 01:05:01,251 --> 01:05:02,553 and type what you think. 1217 01:05:02,687 --> 01:05:05,055 For it matters not what I have done, 1218 01:05:05,188 --> 01:05:06,991 only what I still have to say 1219 01:05:07,558 --> 01:05:10,227 and there is always something still to say, because 1220 01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:13,731 as long as I can still think, I will still write." 1221 01:05:20,337 --> 01:05:22,239 Can you still think? 1222 01:05:47,531 --> 01:05:49,667 All this time, it didn't make any sense. 1223 01:05:50,167 --> 01:05:53,905 Why would he come all this way just to return a check for a 1224 01:05:54,038 --> 01:05:55,505 play he never wrote? 1225 01:06:05,515 --> 01:06:08,585 "Untitled New Play By Joseph Harris." 1226 01:06:13,624 --> 01:06:15,727 Out of all the possible titles. 1227 01:06:20,197 --> 01:06:21,766 When? 1228 01:06:21,899 --> 01:06:22,967 No, it doesn't matter. 1229 01:06:24,102 --> 01:06:26,904 Oh, it matters, Mr. Waters. It matters a great deal. 1230 01:06:28,572 --> 01:06:30,173 When you got on the train to come here. 1231 01:06:30,307 --> 01:06:33,111 You said it yourself, "No one comes to a place like this 1232 01:06:33,243 --> 01:06:34,645 unless they have to." 1233 01:06:39,483 --> 01:06:41,686 I ran into the street. 1234 01:06:43,688 --> 01:06:47,759 Everyone was pouring out of the stores, their apartments. 1235 01:06:48,625 --> 01:06:52,130 What was going on? No one knew a thing. 1236 01:06:52,997 --> 01:06:56,834 A queen on the fourth floor of a walk up was hanging 1237 01:06:56,968 --> 01:06:59,236 out his window, calling down to 1238 01:06:59,369 --> 01:07:01,571 us about what he was seeing on television. 1239 01:07:02,172 --> 01:07:07,377 A woman in high heels ran past me, through me actually, 1240 01:07:07,577 --> 01:07:10,213 screaming into her cell phone about having 1241 01:07:10,347 --> 01:07:14,686 to get to her daughter's school all the way up in the East 90s. 1242 01:07:15,218 --> 01:07:20,091 I stepped... I stepped out onto 1243 01:07:20,223 --> 01:07:22,026 7th Avenue and looked south. 1244 01:07:22,592 --> 01:07:24,662 I could see the smoke. 1245 01:07:24,796 --> 01:07:26,064 And the fire. 1246 01:07:26,630 --> 01:07:28,298 And then came the second plane. 1247 01:07:28,432 --> 01:07:30,134 Over the water. 1248 01:07:30,735 --> 01:07:34,038 So low I could see that brilliant September sun 1249 01:07:34,172 --> 01:07:35,973 reflecting off the fuselage. 1250 01:07:36,506 --> 01:07:38,176 I watched it rumble northward, 1251 01:07:38,308 --> 01:07:41,611 as if pulled by a string until that guided suicidal roar 1252 01:07:41,746 --> 01:07:43,513 exploded into a giant orange 1253 01:07:43,647 --> 01:07:46,216 ball and then a cloud of the blackest smoke and 1254 01:07:46,349 --> 01:07:48,452 I swear the ground underneath me shuddered. 1255 01:07:48,585 --> 01:07:50,387 The queen was shrieking now, 'We're...'" 1256 01:07:50,520 --> 01:07:53,057 HARRIS AND KEnNETH: "'We're under attack. We're under attack.'" 1257 01:07:53,791 --> 01:07:55,525 And the streets were filled with 1258 01:07:55,660 --> 01:07:57,227 people, all coming from everywhere 1259 01:07:57,360 --> 01:07:58,495 "Everywhere and nowhere. 1260 01:07:58,628 --> 01:08:01,231 Asking the same question, over and over. 1261 01:08:01,364 --> 01:08:04,702 'Why?' 'Why?' 1262 01:08:06,671 --> 01:08:09,506 'Why?' 1263 01:08:10,141 --> 01:08:14,812 And I stood there thinking 1264 01:08:17,414 --> 01:08:20,550 this may be the best thing that had 1265 01:08:20,685 --> 01:08:25,422 ever happened to this fat, arrogant excuse for a country." 1266 01:08:28,325 --> 01:08:30,527 And I started crying, 1267 01:08:31,095 --> 01:08:32,930 not for those poor people in 1268 01:08:33,064 --> 01:08:35,233 those planes, in those buildings. 1269 01:08:35,365 --> 01:08:39,603 I started crying, because I knew I had to write it. 1270 01:08:41,939 --> 01:08:45,342 I knew I had to turn this... this... this 1271 01:08:45,475 --> 01:08:49,446 horrible, horrible day into art. 1272 01:08:55,519 --> 01:08:57,889 But you can't produce a play 1273 01:08:58,022 --> 01:09:01,759 about 9/11 that says we deserved it. 1274 01:09:04,628 --> 01:09:07,031 So I threw it in a drawer. 1275 01:09:11,202 --> 01:09:13,004 Is it any good? 1276 01:09:16,540 --> 01:09:18,843 It's the best thing I ever wrote. 1277 01:09:20,278 --> 01:09:21,813 And I hate every word of it. 1278 01:09:26,918 --> 01:09:28,786 Well, 1279 01:09:29,419 --> 01:09:31,454 with all due respect, Mr. Harris, 1280 01:09:31,588 --> 01:09:33,456 you're the last thing I care about. 1281 01:09:36,794 --> 01:09:39,362 You sound like a playwright. 1282 01:09:41,999 --> 01:09:44,001 I am. 1283 01:09:57,114 --> 01:10:02,286 They say as soon as a playwright writes "The End", the play is... 1284 01:10:02,419 --> 01:10:04,387 "The play is no longer his. It's theirs. 1285 01:10:04,521 --> 01:10:05,555 To do with what they will." 1286 01:10:06,057 --> 01:10:09,492 American Theater Magazine, January, 1991. 1287 01:10:15,199 --> 01:10:17,500 I don't have a title. 1288 01:10:18,035 --> 01:10:19,337 You can borrow mine! 1289 01:10:29,412 --> 01:10:31,883 Get out, get out, get outta here. 1290 01:11:23,852 --> 01:11:27,452 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 1290 01:11:28,305 --> 01:12:28,510 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/7ce7m Help other users to choose the best subtitles